The shock full text of IPeCaC’s Sixth Assessment Report (2020), the last of an undistinguished series of leaden, multi-thousand-page rent-seekers’ manifestoes, has been leaked. It can now be revealed exclusively to an eagerly sleeping world.
The Lord Monckton Foundation’s zit-faced, Coke-gurgling, coke-sniffing, donut-guzzling teenage hackers, TweedleDumb and TweedleDumber, have wormed their way through a back door in the firewall of the HAL 9000 mainframe at IPeCaC’s triple-gilt, marble-lined headquarters in Geneva.
After seconds of research, at the CP/M command prompt they typed “JOSHUA”. The Hollerith cards whirred through the reader, then the teletype spat out the words “GREETINGS, PROFESSOR FALKEN”. They were in!
Tweedledumb typed the Last Question: “AC, is this the end? Can this chaos not be reversed into the Universe once more? Can that not be done?”
And AC said, in a stage Scots accent, “There’s a 97% consensus that we’re…
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